Compose the subject line of an email message you really, really don't want to read

The World According to Twitter is David Pogue’s experiment in writing a book entirely composed of the tweets (aka “responses” for you non-Twitterers) he receives from his 200,000 online followers to a single question he poses them. Each response is funnier than the next and makes for an entertaining read. Following is an excerpt of Pogue’s challenge to “Compose the subject line of an email message you really, really don’t want to read.”

To my former sexual partners, as required by law -- @markowitz

Re: What seems to have been your car -- @pumpkinshirt

From: eHarmony. Subject: Your profile has been rejected. -- @jadawa

I hate to do this via email . . . -- @SusanEJacobsen

Fwd:Fwd:Fwd:Fw:Catz! lol -- @danblondell

What happened in Vegas did NOT stay in Vegas -- @jschechner

Your Dad is Now Following You on Twitter. -- @CathleenRitt

From: Your Doctor. Subj: Good news, bad news . . . -- @Baszma

Urgent notice to everyone who was at the hot tub party last Saturday! -- @lavasusan

From: AT&T. Subject: Your international roaming charges -- @kvijayraghavan

Hi! Remember me? I’m in town!! -- @Stefaniya

Error in lab results -- @ricksva

From: NIH. Subj: Important new information on link between computer usage and rapid-onset dementia -- @maineone

Honey, you saved those tax papers from 1978, right? -- @pumpkinshirt

From: Yale Office of Admissions. File Size: 2K -- @perryan

We need to talk. Call me. -- @_not_THAT_guy

From: Your Petsitter. Subject: Before you open the door when you get home . . . -- @brianwolven

From: Your Publisher. Subject: Ha, good one! Could you send the real chapter now, please? -- @Lookshelves

Your GM common stock -- @scottmarkarian

Did you mean to hit Reply to All? -- @Maggie_Dwyer

From: Your eldest kid. Subject: How do you get chocolate sauce out of the sofa? -- @aymroos

The above is an excerpt from the book The World According to Twitter by David Pogue. The above excerpt is a digitally scanned reproduction of text from print. Although this excerpt has been proofread, occasional errors may appear due to the scanning process. Please refer to the finished book for accuracy.

Copyright © 2009 David Pogue, author of The World According to Twitter

About the Author:
David Pogue, author of The World According to Twitter, is the weekly tech columnist for the New York Times, an Emmy-winning correspondent for CBS News Sunday Morning, and contributor of funny, weekly tech videos for CNBC. Heapostrophes the author or co-author of 50 books, including six in the For Dummies line and 25 in the Missing Manual series, which he created. He lives in Connecticut with his wife and three children. Join Pogueapostrophes world at his website: http://www.davidpogue.com/; at Twitter: @pogue; or at his blog: www.nytimes.com/pogue.